Alex's dating profile
Hey there! This isn't your typical dating profile - I wanted to share a bit about me without being limited by a dating app. If you know someone who might be interested, feel free to send this to them!
Basic info
My name is Alex, but I've been called other things like “space wizard” (by a friend), "clever iconoclast" (by an ex-girlfriend), and “a very pleasant gentleman” (by my Orthopedic surgeon in his discharge notes). I'm a 31-year-old cis guy living in the Midtown district of Kansas City, working as an IT Analyst for an international law firm. I'm a philosophy and ethics nerd, but I also love insane adventures and chill evenings in. I’m highly versatile!
I am on a journey to find someone who makes me feel emotionally safe, intellectually stimulated, and spiritually inspired. I hope to be that for them as well.
Details
I care deeply about humanity in general, and I also think every person is valuable and beautiful simply by virtue of being human. Absurdism and Rationality are core values of mine, and I geek out on all sorts of intellectual conversations. However, just talking isn’t enough for me. That's why I organize a local Effective Altruism group, where we explore how we can do the most good for the world, and I donate 10% of my income to effective charities. I founded a startup for community-based self-improvement, which is my passion project. I’m also vegan, for ethical, health, and environmental reasons.
I am not really into clubs or bars. I go maybe once a month or so for the dancing, or to the local arcade bar for the games, but loud environments that I have to shout over are not my usual choice.
My idea of fun includes things like Dungeons and Dragons, cooking with friends, urban exploration, watching good movies/shows, hiking in nature, and foraging for mushrooms (even though I despise the way they taste 😅). I’m also constantly reading, check out my reading list here!
I love cats; I have a cat named Loki. She is very well-behaved and affectionate. I like dogs too, though! I just don’t currently have the space for one in my apartment.
I also attend Burning Man every year, with a nerdy camp of tabletop roleplaying gamers. You are welcome to join me! Or not, whatever floats your boat. :)
I love traveling, and would consider moving somewhere else mid-term, but I have a preference for staying anchored to Kansas City in the short-term. I’m trying to foster the local Effective Altruism/Rationality scenes, which is a mission that means a lot to me.
As far as spirituality is concerned, I’m a strict materialist at my core (I think Madonna had it right). However, I believe recapturing some sense of the sacred is important for a meaningful life, and I love chatting about religion and meaning-making. A friend once called me “the most spiritual non-spiritual person I know”. I think the universe (especially consciousness) is a lot weirder than most materialists give it credit for. I’ve even been known to dabble in Tarot and such for the fun of it. However, the key is that I believe we are physical beings in a physical universe, and I do not think that there exist any minds apart from bodies such as gods, spirits, or anything like that.
Because I do not believe in any afterlife, I believe that death is bad, and that one of the human race’s most important long-term goals should be shielding sentient minds from it. I also believe that extreme suffering is the foundation of ethics. Despite my mostly Consequentialist views on ethics, I believe that conscious creatures have an inherent dignity, and should not be subjugated or commercialized.
Personality breakdown
The Big Five (aka “OCEAN”) model of personality is the best predictor of life outcomes, including romantic outcomes! According to this study, low Neuroticism, plus high Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Conscientiousness are great predictors of romantic satisfaction. I’m proud to say I score well on that front! You can see my full breakdown here.
My biggest weaknesses is that, within Neuroticism, despite scoring low on aggregate, I score high on Immoderation. It can be tough for me to pace myself on ice cream sometimes. 😉
But this is easily remedied with systems, such as making sure I don’t stock unhealthy foods in the house, and putting limits on my phone usage.
What I’m Looking For
My goal is to live with a life partner/spouse. Ideally, I would have this accomplished within the next 3-5 years.
Dealbreakers:
anyone who is doctrinally religious (subscribes to some kind of religion where you literally and unambiguously believe in things like ghosts, souls, etc). Similarly, anyone who literally believes in woo such as astrology, chakras, or manifestation (unless you have a randomized control trial to back it up!)
anyone who identifies strongly with many of their beliefs (note: this is not the same as having strongly-held opinions!). You have to know what would change your mind on any belief of great importance, including ethical beliefs.
anyone who will stock animal products in the house (vegan partners preferred, but I’m somewhat flexible on this and I am happy to cook!)
I am a very extroverted person; I would like someone who is similarly excited to spend time with people and organize interesting events.
Honesty is key for me, and I also make it a point to avoid lies of omission. I want to be with someone who similarly values honesty.
Staying in shape and taking care of myself physically is important to me, and I want someone who also takes care of themselves. I have a workout routine, a facial care routine, I shower daily, and go above and beyond with dental hygiene. I keep my BMI in a healthy and attractive range. Let’s be a hot power couple together. 😉
I am ambivalent on the subject of children. I can see myself really enjoying being a parent, if my partner is enthusiastically on board. If you have a strong preference either way, I am happy to defer to you. However, I do have a moderate preference for adoption if I do have kids. Willing to discuss.
(Note: I have had a Vasectomy; and while they have a 60%-90% chance of reversal, any biological children might have to be conceived via IVF or some other artificial means).
I think I'm a pretty cool person, and I put in a lot of effort to be the kind of partner I'd want to be with. If you're interested in getting coffee or a drink sometime, let me know! Virtual dates are also an option if you don’t live in my area.
Also, don’t worry about what I will think if you reach out! If I say no, I will not be mean about it, think less of you, or let it affect any other aspect of our relationship.
You can text me at 816-541-6685, stalk me on Facebook or Instagram, or email me at alex.hedtke@gmail.com